What Is An Intimate Marriage?

What Is An Intimate Marriage? Revealing Your True Selves Through The Growth That Comes With Learning, Pleasure And Even Conflict

An Intimate Marriage is a relationship defined by learning and growth, which in turn leads to a deeper connection and exquisite intimacy.  Within such a relationship, couples experience evolving passion and gratifying connection–passion and connection that can be activated by conflict as well as pleasure. 


Yes, conflict can contribute to passion and strengthen your intimacy!


Ironically enough, even though conflict definitely can cause disconnection, once you learn how to express yourselves well during disagreements, it can be used to bring you closer together. That happens when you are vulnerable with one another, sharing honestly and respectfully in the heat of the moment.  It can bring you closer together because it allows you to know one another better and more deeply, with your challenges and insecurities no longer hidden.


The way to use conflict to create more connection is to fully embrace whatever is revealed throughout the conflict.  Sometimes it takes a person feeling out of control in a disagreement to express something very important that has been too confronting to say in a regular conversation. Sometimes it takes a conflict for someone to share how hurt they feel. Embracing whatever is revealed provides a chance to open your heart and accept your own and your partner’s vulnerability which will then pave the way for new flavors of  intimacy in your relationship. This means that from conflict, you can access sensuality and lusciousness you may have never thought possible.


Can each moment of the day be infused with lusciousness and sensuality?  You may be lucky enough to have a phase like that every now and then, but it’s not really an attainable goal in the midst of the busyness of life. Evenso, when you do experience moments of sensuality with your  partner, especially during unexpected times, savor it because that is when really beautiful things occur. 


Some of my favorite moments are when my husband walks by me while I’m cooking and he gently brushes the back of my neck. It’s his way of saying, “I see you, I love you.”

I used to smile and stay focused on the cooking but I’ve learned to savour it, to take a breath and really enjoy the way it feels.


That kind of moment reflects that we have an Intimate Marriage. It’s a moment which passes pretty quickly but it occurs within the context of a whole relationship. For us that includes erotic connection, affection, mutual respect and knowing that while we don’t know what the future holds, we are willing to lean in and discover it together.


Ultimately, an “Intimate Marriage” is the term that I use to describe a really solid and dynamic connection. 


An Intimate Marriage consists of stability and familiarity, as well as playfulness, and spontaneity.  


It may seem overwhelming and out of reach to create such a relationship but it doesn’t need to be. An Intimate Marriage is built day-by-day in moments of vulnerability, in the courage required to open your heart and listen generously, even in times of conflict. Unexpected discoveries of emotional intimacy, sensual sensations,and just plain knowing one another more deeply, naturally results in more intimacy and presence, and feeling more in love.


I want this for all couples, including you. If this is something you want…I can help you create the deliciousness & joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship.

In the meantime, if you want to know more about intimacy and passion in your relationship, read my book Uncompromising Intimacy.

Discover what's really blocking emotional and sensual intimacy.

Read the first chapter of Uncompromising Intimacy


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About Dr. Alexandra

Alexandra Stockwell, MD, aka “The Intimacy Doctor,” is widely known for her ability to catalyze immediate and profound shifts in high achieving couples who want it all–genuine emotional connection, sensual passion, and erotic intimacy.

A physician coach and Intimate Marriage Expert, Alexandra is the best-selling author of “Uncompromising Intimacy,” host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, as well as a wife of 28 years and a mother of 4. Couples who work with her discover the key to passion, fulfillment, intimacy, and success isn’t compromise–it’s being unwilling to compromise–because when both people feel free to be themselves, the relationship is juicy, erotically alive, and deeply nourishing.


Get the roadmap for the intimacy you desire by reading the first chapter of my book “Uncompromising Intimacy.”

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