Is the comfort of companionship as good as it gets?
People often misunderstand Intimacy.
What are your desires? Your fears? Your dreams? Your frustrations?
How does your body feel when you wake up in the morning?
When the sun shines on your face?
When your spouse reaches out and touches you?
In personal development circles, others sometimes define intimacy as “into me, you see,” but that misses the point completely. Intimacy doesn’t result from your partner being good at seeing you–that’s a part of it–but the more significant part is your ability to reveal who you are.
To experience real Intimacy, whether emotional, sensual, or erotic, you must know who you are and learn to share that with your beloved, through your words, feelings, and actions.
And yes, your partner must learn to receive the fullness of what you reveal, but your partner’s ability to open and hear is directly correlated with how you express yourself with them.
Courage is required to share who you are.
Courage is required of your spouse to receive who you are.
Intimacy is the exquisite result of opening your hearts to share what lives deep within your souls!!
Emotional Intimacy builds amazing passionate Erotic Intimacy.
I learned this early in my career while coaching a couple that had been married for 19 years. They loved one another very much, were not considering separation or divorce, but when their children weren’t around, they had nothing to say to one another.
There was no affection and no sex–not for 9 months.
I knew that the only way to address the lack of sexual activity was by first guiding them to rebuild rapport, enjoy one another’s company, and feel emotionally reconnected.
The first three sessions were amazing! They went from sitting two feet apart in a session to sitting close beside one another, sometimes holding hands or with her head resting on his shoulder. They smiled more and had an easy way between them. Once they were emotionally attuned, I began to focus on helping them reconnect in the bedroom.
But they had already reconnected on their own! Making love with sweetness and passion. I never coached them on foreplay or sex positions, how to state desires in the bedroom or anything else of that sort. Just guiding them into deeper emotional Intimacy simultaneously reignited all of their lost sexual energy.
Why have I found this again and again with my clients…?
When Emotional Intimacy is present, Sensual and Erotic Intimacy is close behind.
Competent couples who love one another often find it very uncomfortable to admit to themselves and one another that their sex life is unfulfilling or otherwise in need of an upgrade.
However, it is even more confronting for a couple in a stable, loving marriage to admit that their emotional Intimacy needs attention.
They believe emotional Intimacy comes just from “getting along,” but the fact is, there is a lot more to it, and it’s easy to implement once you learn how.
Passion fading with the years is not always related to a bodily function or diminished desire. Often, it’s due to a lack of understanding of the importance of emotional intimacy coupled with not knowing what to do to feel close with your partner.
You must feel seen by your partner to feel your desire.
Learn to reveal yourself so they can!
