• Alexandra Stockwell

What Should I Do?

My daughter Josephine is 23 years old. She is a graduate student and lives halfway across the US. She and I talk often, about all kinds of things.


We talk about what she is cooking for dinner. Where to shop for black heels. How to pluck her eyebrows.

What kind of summer job suits her best this year. And also, we talk about sex, intimacy and relationships.

In great detail.

She often tells me the kind of sexual experiences she has had—sharing her immense pleasure, and asking me questions when experiences confuse her.

Now that she is no longer a teenager, she doesn’t feel she needs to hide what a great relationship we have.

Because rather than thinking it’s uncool, her friends really love it. In fact, some of them wish they could ask their mother those kinds of questions too.

Often, Josephine will be talking with a friend and say, “I wonder what my mom would say.”

Realizing millennials, and their parents too, are really interested in what we say, we decided to start a podcast.

It’s called “What Should I Do?” (because Josephine often calls me and then asks, “what should I do?”)

We have planned the podcast.

We had a photo shoot when she was home in December.

We played with names for the podcast and discussed our format.

And, now, here it is! This week we launched!!!

Which means you can now listen to it too.

Wherever you like to listen to podcasts:

You can listen to our intro episode where we share what it’s all about and you can hear how we finish one another’s sentences, and build on what each of us has shared.

You can also listen to the next four episodes. Each one is amazing!

Episode 2 is called “Is sex for me or for my partner?”

  • In it Josephine’s college friend describes that sex used to be “for the guy”. She often dissociated and treated it as a kind of chore. Now that she is engaged and living with a wonderful fiancée, she decided to stop having sex. Her goal is to learn how to stay in the present moment and really enjoy the experience. She is articulate, spunky, and very transparent!

Episode 3 is called “Learning from Jealousy”

  • Josephine and I talk with her ex-boyfriend about the jealousy he felt during their relationship. They both shift perspective as I re-frame the whole experience for them.

Episode 4 is called “Downsides of being Mr. Nice Guy”

  • Another friend of Josephine’s always tries to do the right thing. He is an honorable man and has been really good to each of the two girlfriends he has had. The problem is that in prioritizing their needs, he ignores his own, which ends up hurting them both. I coach him on how to break this pattern.

Episode 5 is called “Is home where you live or where your parents live?”

  • Josephine decided to shelter in place in Chicago in her grad school apartment instead of coming home to California. In this episode, we reflect on how each of us navigated that decision, and what it means for our relationship. It’s a conversation that is often skipped. Often the parent just decides… or leaves the whole decision to the older child. But we navigated it together.

I am really excited to share my curiosity, my insights, and my family with you. I hope you will listen, and learn from what you hear.

Be sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Also rate us and leave a review—it really does make a difference.

Do you want to be a guest on the show? Do you have a particular topic you want us to address?

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