• Alexandra Stockwell

How I Used My Time at Home

In 1998, I was 7 months pregnant with my second child. My daughter was 2 years old. My husband was working 100 hours a week, coming home and pretty much falling asleep until he left early the next morning for his next 36 hour shift as a Family Medicine intern at the University of Massachusetts.

We had recently moved and I didn’t really know anyone in the area yet. I knew where the local park was and I knew where my backyard was, and otherwise I was in my kitchen, doing laundry, putting my daughter in bed for a nap, or figuring out my future career moves.

I remember once during this time that I finally had some time alone with my husband.

I had about 3 weeks worth of important stuff stored up in my soul, and I needed to express myself to him. I began sharing and a few minutes later, he drifted off to sleep! I am not proud of this, but when I watched his lids slowly drop, then hover… until they closed all the way, I screamed at him.

I was desperate for connection and took his fatigue personally.

Because I am a doctor too, I knew better—indeed, the pressures and impossibilities of his situation were totally familiar to me. But in that moment none of that mattered to me.

SO, what did I do in the face of this experience, with my ballooning belly, my toddler, and my usually unavailable husband? I looked through the self-help aisle of our local bookstore for titles aimed at couples and bought the most promising one. And I told my husband outside of sleep and keeping us safe and tending our family’s needs, reading this book was the most important thing in the world to me.

Every night that he was both off work and actually awake, we read a chapter aloud and then did the exercise at the end of the chapter. Some of the exercises were super confronting for us, and some were really fun. Every single one was valuable and had a positive impact in how I felt about myself, how I experienced him, and how we interacted with one another.

That could have been one of the hardest times in our marriage.That could have been a time when each of us felt alone within our togetherness.

That could have been a time that we each just chose to get through as best we could, knowing better times were ahead.

That experience inspired me.

It inspired me to write Uncompromising Intimacy which contains impactful exercises at the end of each chapter.

And it inspired me to create Date Nights at Home.

When you participate, I will personally guide you and your honey through experiences that will open your hearts, support you in being vulnerable with one another, and encourage playfulness and flirtation.

You are going to be home with one another anyway, so use the time to craft the relationship you really want!

If you want to reap the rewards of feeling cherished and have more fun (from the comfort of your own home) press reply and tell me you want an invitation.

I am gifting 100 couples the opportunity to participate. If you want to be one of them, comment below or email me for the details.

With pleasure and purpose,

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Copyright 2020 Alexandra Stockwell, MD