The fifth Key to an Intimate Marriage is Take Responsibility. That may be a loaded phrase for some, but hear me out. 

Very often among educated, successful couples, we have this idea that everything should be split 50/50, fair and equal. You may be familiar with the phrases, “it takes two to tango,” and “we each have our part.” While those are true in their context, meeting each other halfway isn’t the way to a passionate marriage.

The only way all aspects of the marriage will be addressed and taken care of is if you take 100% of the responsibility for your experience in your relationship. Ideally, your partner will take 100% as well, but when you take all the responsibility you won’t be waiting around for your partner to do his part. 

That does NOT mean that you’re the 100% caretaker and nurturer. That doesn’t mean you do all the work. It may mean taking the initiative to make some plans and asking your partner for help with certain things, or stepping into the hard conversations, or just being responsible for making the interactions feel good and respectful. It means to stop waiting for your spouse to change.

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