The second key to an intimate marriage is Embrace Honesty. In this episode I won’t be addressing the major dishonesties such as infidelity, hidden bank accounts, et cetera. I’m talking about the small resentments that build up over time, knowing that your relationship is pretty good but things could be a lot better.
Whenever you answer “how are you?” with “I’m fine,” and you’re not, it builds a wall between you. By dampening your responses you’re training your partner to be less responsive to your subtle signals and less sensitive to what is happening in your soul.
In order to share this level of honesty, it takes a lot of bravery, self-awareness, and willingness to express what is happening.
I got rid of my resentment “straight jacket” in 2 ways:
- I learned to clear my resentments, which we cover in my Aligned & Hot Marriage program
- I learned how to speak up so I wasn’t building resentment in the first place.
First, you have to embrace honesty with yourself, then the smallest honest communications with your partner will transform so much more than you can imagine.
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About Alexandra Stockwell, MD
My mission is to change the cultural narrative around long-term relationships from one of ongoing stagnation and compromise to the delectable joy and deep gratification a couple feels while building passion and excitement on a daily basis.
For over two decades, I have been guiding men and women to bring pleasure and purpose back into all aspects of life— from the daily grind of running a household to creating ecstatic experiences in the bedroom!
I embarked on this journey not only for my patients but for myself and my own relationship. I wanted more for my life and my marriage than logistics, and discussions about childcare.