"The Intimacy Doctor"

Relationship & Intimacy Coach
Top 1% Podcast Host
Bestselling author
Mother of four
Married for over 30 years

Featured In...

I started the work in my own marriage.

When my husband and I first got married, I assumed we would end up divorced.

Not because there was any lack of love between us or other incompatibility–in fact we shared the same values and vision for our lives. But my parents were divorced when I was young and so were his. And I didn’t know any couples whose marriage inspired me, showing me a deeply connected relationship that gets better and better with time. I didn’t know if it was possible, and I certainly didn’t know how to create it.

Early in our marriage, while both my husband and I were in medical school and raising our first child, we needed to coordinate very full academic schedules as well as childcare for our baby. We learned to identify our logistical needs, express them clearly, and collaborate on making our lives work for all three of us. In the process, we learned to communicate with kindness and specificity. We were driven by practical considerations, however, the process laid the foundation for us to be kind, clear, and collaborative in other areas of our life as well.

Even so, our relationship felt more functional rather than nourishing and connected. Years later, when we had completed our medical training and our babies were older, we had more time together. I expected us to improve our relationship and become more intimate. We didn’t. And that was when I realized that loving one another, spending time together, and having shared values were not enough to create the kind of intimate marriage I desired.

So what would it take, for us to feel in love and enlivened? What I discovered is the lessons I learned during our logistical planning sessions were far more relevant than I had appreciated.. Turning towards one another with honesty, and genuine attention to ourselves and one another, is what actually contributes to intimacy in marriage.

Rather than waiting for structured conversations and logistics to handle, I brought our quality of connecting into everyday moments: how we say “Good Morning,” how we listen, how we are present with one another. And with that, our relationship began to thrive. This awareness is the foundation of my work, which I call “Choose Intimacy” because in every interaction you have the option to choose intimacy (or not).

Simple pivots in everyday interactions are the untapped gold that will dial up the intimacy and connection in your marriage. If you are ready to go far beyond a relationship that functions, and enjoy a thriving intimate marriage, I will teach you how.

About Alexandra

Alexandra Stockwell, MD is a physician coach and Intimate Marriage Expert, widely known for her ability to catalyze immediate and meaningful shifts in high-achieving couples who want genuine emotional connection, sensual passion, and a relationship that feels as alive and successful as the rest of their lives.

For over 20 years, she has worked with men and women to bring real connection back into all aspects of their relationship: from the ordinary texture of daily life to the quality of intimacy in the bedroom. Her clients are growth-oriented, accomplished, and quite competent in most areas of life. They are confronted with the reality that those qualities haven’t translated to their intimate relationship–something is missing, and they want to uplevel.

Alexandra is the bestselling author of Uncompromising Intimacy, creator of the Aligned & Hot Marriage program and the Intimate Connection app, and host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast (ranked in the top 1% of podcasts globally).

Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Huffington Post, Rolling Stone, Cosmopolitan, USAToday, Business Insider, mindbodygreen, and FOX News NYC. LA Weekly named her one of the Top 10 Relationship Experts to Watch in 2023.

She offers private relationship and intimacy coaching to clients all over the world, live virtual group programs, online courses, an app, and in person retreats.

Testimonials

Alexandra has a big, loving, and caring heart, but don't let that fool you... she combines years of experience, coaching acumen, and 'in your face' direct feedback that may not be easy to receive, but is exactly what you need to hear to improve your relationship!

"Wow Dr.Alexandra’s “Surprising Secret to Having a Fantastic Relationship” is a precise, concise, useful, practical, and mind-blowing nugget of wisdom. It is so perfectly delivered that in the course of just over 8 minutes, any rebuttal I might have had to her teachings on how to bring more connection and intimacy into a relationship were lovingly dismantled (thank you!).”

"You know how messy and jagged it can feel to be disconnected from your partner, or just silently, persistently at odds? And how impossible it seems to untangle how it is between the two of you? Alexandra makes getting back to what you love and who you love so simple and clean, and efficient. I felt myself relax as she talked. If you are anxious or unsettled, her clarity and kindness are just the thing to find balance. This practice has not only bridged the distance that had grown between us, it has also renewed our sense of delight in one another."

Ways to work with Alexandra

Aligned and Hot Marriage

For couples who are committed to their marriage and ready to move beyond what they have accepted as normal. A structured program to deepen emotional intimacy, reconnect, and reignite the passion that has softened over time.

Desires

For women who sense something is missing but struggle to name it, or who know what they want but hesitate to say so. A course that helps you get clear on your desires and develop the confidence to express them.

Private Relationship and Intimacy Coaching

For high-achieving couples who want direct, personalized guidance. Private coaching with Alexandra is an intensive process that dismantles old patterns and builds new ways of relating that are genuine, connected, and built to last.

Uncompromising Intimacy

By Alexandra Stockwell, MD

A practical, perspective-shifting guide for couples who want more than a relationship that simply works. In this book, Alexandra makes the case that the key to a connected, passionate partnership is the willingness to be fully yourself and to genuinely welcome the same from your partner. A place to start the work, or deepen it.