It’s super easy to know what you hate about how other people treat you. Perhaps you have a whole list of things your partner does that he definitely should NOT do! Because whenever he does them, it drives you crazy, and it drives you crazy afterwards too. The way he interrupts you just before you make your point…or when you say something he checks his phone for messages, or when you say you’d like to go on a date (and you are dreaming of something romantic) he responds with “sure, let’s get pizza tonight”. Or maybe it’s how he kisses you and even though he’s done it that way for 17 years, you have never told him you don’t like it!
You get the idea.
When you are mature in your relationship and you are fairly clear on your needs and desires, you probably have a long list of what isn’t working for you and how the way he addresses you is not what you want it to be.
If this sounds familiar, my question to you is: How do you treat yourself?
- What do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror?
- What do you say inside to yourself when you look at someone who is going for their dreams?
- When there is something you really want to experience, do you go for it? If not, what do you say to yourself about not doing it, and why it’s better not to?
If you find yourself comparing yourself to others who seem to have a much better relationship / life / career / children / whatever…
If you feel really critical about how your partner behaves towards you… then, again, my question is:
- How do you treat yourself?
- What do you discover as you answer this question?
- How can you be more kind and more supportive towards yourself?
Let me know what you find. And let me know if you have questions, because this very inquiry IS ESSENTIAL to creating the partnership you really want, and I have lots of ideas about how to do that!
Tell me, what are you discovering?
Where are you succeeding in shifting your self-talk so that you are treating yourself as well as you want others to?
Where are you frustrated, with no idea how to proceed?
With pleasure and purpose,