Men, Women, and Relationships

Men, Women, and Relationships

A few weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with JJ Flizanes, host of the Men, Women, and Relationships podcast.

She and I have completely different life stories—she is in the process of getting divorced, has a wonderful new partner, no children, and is a well-known podcast personality who has lived most of her life in southern California. Two of her big areas of expertise are fitness and astrology.

Meanwhile, I have been married 23 years, have four children, lived on the east coast, the middle of the country, and am now in northern California. I could easily continue to compare and contrast us in many regards, continuing to point out our differences, yet… when it comes to relationships and what matters, our viewpoints are deeply aligned.

We both believe that our partner triggers our unhealed childhood wounds so they come to light and can be integrated and ultimately become a source of fuel for deeper connection. We both believe being authentic and committed to our own growth is essential for a healthy, vibrant and passionate relationship.

This week, instead of writing more for you to read, I invite you to have a listen to our conversation–I have heard from multiple people who listened that they really loved it and got a great deal of value from listening to the show.

Click HERE to listen to the interview.

I would love to hear back on…

  • What sticks out for you in the interview?
  • What inspired you?
  • What will you take action on?

Be sure to comment below and let me know!

Intimacy is a Verb

Intimacy is a Verb

I spent last weekend participating in a fantastic women’s conference in the heart of San Francisco.

At the conference I presented a workshop on Increasing Intimacy in and out of the Bedroom. The room was filled with interesting, striving women, most of them had never met one another before.  As it was time to begin the workshop there were people hanging back against the walls, and retreating into various cozy corners which were adjacent to the room in which I was speaking.  It felt ironic that they were all attracted to learn more about increasing intimacy in their lives, but were spread out in a rather amoebic manner.

I requested that they all come to the room and be physically present, and then began the workshop.

One of my main points as I set the stage for what we would cover was to share that Intimacy is a learnable skill.

So often people believe nourishing intimacy is the result of picking the right person, or growing up with minimal childhood wounds, or just getting lucky.  While all of those are potentially helpful, the reality is that intimacy is a learnable skill—your capacity to experience intimacy grows with intention and practice, with education followed by trial and error, and integrating your experiences.  With education, you can create the most exquisite emotional and sensual intimacy!

I then proceeded to set the stage and guide the workshop participants through a simple, and profound experience. In the experience I shared tools to create intimacy in their relationships and in their life.

The women who chose to participate in my workshop, were beautiful, open, and courageous enough to try something new. They went for it and fully participated.

When I ended my presentation, I saw a room of women who were glowing, with their hearts open and their souls at ease.  What really touched me the most occurred a few minutes later when  I saw most of the participants sitting with new friends in groups of two and three, in deep, connected, intimate conversations. They felt seen, heard, understood, and appreciated by one another—they were experiencing far more intimacy than when they arrived in the room.

I felt in awe of these women who had created real intimacy with one another in the hour we were together, through using tools that will serve them for the rest of their lives in their relationships with colleagues, children, step-children, parents, neighbors, and most significantly, with their romantic partners.

Do you want more intimacy in your life?  Do you wonder which areas in your relationship need attention so that you can create the relationship you really want?  If yes, click here to test Your Relationship IQ!

I look forward to hearing what you yearn to experience. I would love to teach you how to increase intimacy in your relationship, so you experience it as a learnable skill, so you know what I mean when I say it’s a verb.

My Interview with the founder of Neimology, Sharón Lynn Wyeth

My Interview with the founder of Neimology, Sharón Lynn Wyeth

What is neimology you say? Good question! Neimology was founded by Sharón Lynn Wyeth and is all about how she can tell a person’s strengths and challenges based on their name and how a person’s name can empower their life.

I got an amazing opportunity to speak with Sharón Lynn Wyeth. Click the link to listen below as we chat about my life and work and how my name is a clue to my personality!

Click HERE to listen to my Interview with neimology’s founder, Sharón Lynn Wyeth.

The Most Common Question I Receive…

The Most Common Question I Receive…

Men and women, both in straight and gay relationships, reach out to me regularly…

Typically, they know me personally, or they have read an article I’ve written, or they have listened to a podcast I have been a guest on, and what I share touches their heart and they reach out to connect with me.

Most commonly it’s a woman who reaches out, but often times it’s a man.

The person reaches out, and in their own way, he or she asks me whether there’s hope for them, whether there’s hope for their relationship to improve when it’s been the way it has been for awhile already.

Maybe she shares with me that they really love one another and he’s a wonderful father, but they haven’t made love in a really long time.  She can barely say it, but she wants him to look at her as a woman; she yearns to feel wanted.

Maybe he says his wife is so busy with work, kids and all kinds of other responsibilities. He doesn’t feel he has a right to ask for anything more from her when she’s already giving so much to so many.  And yet… he’s slowly dying inside, because he does want more and doesn’t know what to do to get it. By the time he’s reaching out to me, he’s started wondering if he even deserves it. Has he been a good enough man for his woman to prioritize their relationship, for his woman to make time for sensuality?

Maybe she reaches out when her wife starts coming home later, because work has become so important and they don’t connect as deeply as before.  She reaches out because, after all the attention they gave one another and their relationship when they got together, she now feels alone and isolated within their marriage.

I recognize the courage of every one who reaches out.

I hear the tenderness.

And I know, as I read the email and later hear the voice on the phone, that the most important role I have is to be an affirming, supportive listener as each person shares their pain with me. I also know our exchange may end up being an important step toward deep healing and the seed of much hope for the future.

  • Is it possible to have emotional intimacy and sensual passion with a long term partner?
  • Is it possible for a stale and dehydrated relationship to revive?
  • Is it possible for all the love that is present but stuck, to flow with connection, erotic heat, companionship and delight?

The answer is a resounding YES. I know because I have experienced it in my own marriage, and I know because I have coached many couples to experience it for themselves.

If you want this kind of connection with the one you love… if you want to heal the wounds of the past and cultivate emotional connection, sensuality, erotic heat, and openhearted collaboration, if you yearn for that I have two things to tell you:

  1. I promise you it’s possible.
  2. Reach out to me.

If you are not experiencing this right now, it’s unlikely you will create it on your own. (If you could have, you would have.) So reach out and access the guidance that’s available.

For couples ready to dive deep in order to create the relationship they really want, I offer many options from a self-study online course to highly customized private coaching.

I look forward to serving you as you create an intimate, sensual, juicy, dynamic relationship.

Please reach out, or comment below, if you would like to learn more.

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